11:00:41 – 11:24:11

guilt

anger

sorrow

anger

hatred

hatred

hurt

I guess i brought this on to myself, I guess you never learn, maybe I never learnt too. But I thought you would have known by now that there are lots of things that I know, and no one knows that I know. I am not saying this to say anything…or anything…I had a thought, but after tonight, that thought is pushed down…maybe I am just a selfish heartless person doing things for my own good. But if I know somethings is not good, why would I take the chance.

cornered

hey blog…

I am still as scared as I was when I first started writing to you…still sitting in the corner, hiding my face…I dont want to think…I dont like how it is, I hate it. I hate love, why does it cause so much damage? I hate having the decision that would cost a life of someone I care about, even if it’s just someone I know. I cant let it go with such a toll. I cant hold on to it because I am scared of the consequences. I cant make the right decision when I am under the wrong pressure.

I hate love

it’s time

To bring out my cameras and go through a couple of rolls of film… it’s been a while since I last went snapping… I hope I still have the touch!

Realise

I just realised, the more focused I am, the more I barricade myself from things around me and the narrower my vision becomes. I mean, I knew all along thats how it works. But I never realise how nice the things around me were, the minute I drift off and took me mind and eyes off what I had my head into, I realise I have been missing out on the world. And what hits me is that, as a designer, I can’t believe I let myself do that, I have strangled my mind and become narrow minded, nothing good will come out of a stubborn and shallow designer.

I have to break this barrier. Recover what I have lost.

Long weekend

Hey blog, Long time no see!

I had a great long weekend! I didnt have to work on Saturday, and I spent the whole long weekend in bed! sigh* I was sick from Saturday onwards, still sick now! but yeah, I just stayed in bed for the weekend, I couldn’t really move. I am feeling much better now, but my voice is dead and my throat kills…

I don’t know blog, I know people read this, but I really want to talk…well type…to you about stuff, because I dont feel comfortable talking to anyone. And I know she reads it too…so I don’t know…I guess I’ll just be a little fague… You know, there is something that I have always wanted, a situation I have always wanted to be in, I had it, I held it, then I lost it as if it felt like i let go of it… then it came back to me… but I realise I am scared of it…so scared of it…maybe I am not meant to have such thing…maybe I was never meant to be in that situation… I don’t know blog… I dont want to know if anyone’s read this…what ever…

 

I care, but I cant

 

rumex